5 Reasons Puppy Won’t Sleep (or Cuddle) with You Anymore
Puppies are cute and snuggly, just the right size to cuddle or snuggle while watching TV.
But what if your puppy doesn’t love cuddles or starts to seek space?
Has your puppy fallen out of love with you or maybe dislikes you?
Are you feeling upset and worrying that you may have done something wrong with your puppy?
Perhaps your puppy was happy to cuddle and sleep with you on your sofa, sharing body heat, but now your puppy keeps its distance?
What Are the Reasons Puppies Don’t Cuddle?
Despite being loveable and affectionate, your puppy is not a human child and experiences the world with different instincts.
Reasons your puppy doesn’t want to cuddle vary:
- Bad memories – if you’ve adopted an older puppy with experience of different humans, it may have some painful memories at human hands.
- Breed – although individuals vary, some breeds enjoy cuddles (the classic lapdog), and some are more independent in habits.
- Climate – cold weather means snuggling to stay warm with shared body heat, but hot weather may mean your puppy is looking to cool down.
- Instinct – the way you hold your puppy may make it feel trapped and unable to flee potential predators and threats.
- Maturity – your puppy reaches the growing point where cuddles and sitting down are less welcome activities than playing tug of war.
1. Bad Memories
At around eight weeks, a young puppy picked up from a reputable breeder is likely to be happy and friendly with nothing but good experiences with human hands.
An older puppy needing a new home may have less favorable experiences.
A family with children that view the puppy as an animated toy may give the puppy a dislike of the feeling of human hands hauling it about or forcing it to endure a smothering cuddle.
Or perhaps the puppy has suffered from slaps or blows from human hands under the pretense of training and is now wary when any hand approaches it.
A puppy that shies away from human contact because of past abuse needs gentle handling and space to learn that its new owners are kinder than the previous ones.
2. Breed
Humans have manipulated dog breeds for thousands of years to obtain appearances and personalities that suit human needs.
The term lapdog covers a range of toy breeds bred to be small and happy to be held in the arms or on a lap – an accessory and a living hot water bottle.
The Pekingese is one of the oldest dog breeds, and members of the Imperial Court (China) permitted to own one of these high-status puppies carried them inside voluminous sleeves.
If you have a choice of puppy breed and you want a puppy that is happy with close contact and cuddles, choose one of the toy breeds:
- Shih Tzu,
- Tibetan Terrier,
- Brussels,
- Griffon,
- Pug,
- Lhasa Apso,
- French Bulldog,
- Bichon Frise,
- Bolognese,
- Maltese,
- Japanese Chin,
- Chinese Crested,
- Havanese,
- Affenpinscher, or
- Chihuahua.
The ancient dog breeds pictured throughout history on beautifully dressed ladies’ laps are reliable cuddlers.
Working terrier breeds like the Jack Russell terrier have a dual personality – one for indoors and one for outside. Most of them will cuddle happily inside and are happy to sleep with you, but outside are intent on hunting and tracking.
Many owners say that when a terrier is busy using its nose, its ears shut down, rendering it deaf to its owner’s pleas to return. But the tiny toy dogs are happy to attach themselves to you and somewhat indifferent to the call of the wild.
Working dog puppy breeds may grow out of cuddles as they mature into a dog with a mission.
In many cases, these puppies shouldn’t want to sit on your knee as a giant breed like Saint Bernard will squash the average human when mature.
Encouraging these puppies to sit next to you and rest their head on your lap is probably the way to go for future domestic harmony.
3. Climate
The reason a puppy snuggles with its siblings and mother is to keep warm.
Your puppy may love to sleep with you on a cold winter night but be less keen during a hot and humid one.
Your puppy has a permanent fur coat, and frankly, sometimes it wants to cool down more than it wants contact with your warm human body.
Your puppy’s need for affectionate closeness doesn’t always need physical contact (that is a human thing); being in the same room is frequently all the contact your puppy needs.
4. Instinct
A human child finds security in the enfolding arms of a trusted adult.
Holding a puppy so it can’t run away from dangers makes a puppy feel caged rather than secure.
The approach to puppy snuggling is to allow the puppy body contact without trapping it.
Many of the ways humans think they show affection to puppies is distressing for the puppy:
- Head patting can be too rough for a small puppy; most prefer a chin or ear scratch or a body pat.
- Feathery touches on a large puppy may be bothersome, like being tickled on the nose with a grass stalk.
- Swooping a puppy off the ground and dangling its legs isn’t as fun for a puppy as a human baby.
Most puppies learn to tolerate human cuddles because it makes their human happy rather than actively seeking them.
5. Maturity
Part of growing is increasing independence and the ability to be confident in your surroundings.
A young human child will cling to its parents until it becomes confident in the world and no longer seeks touch reassurance to the same extent.
A puppy also grows in confidence and, as it becomes more independent, chooses to spend less time in contact with its owner.
The deceased need for cuddles is not a dislike of the owner, simply the puppy has more confidence and marks a turning point in your relationship.
Does Your Puppy Like Cuddles and Sleeping with You?
The straightforward answer is that your puppy probably doesn’t enjoy cuddles and is perhaps happier sleeping in the same room as you rather than in close contact.
Some breeds tolerate close human contact more willingly than others, but cuddling is not natural for dogs.
Puppies snuggle because they are young and in need of pack protection and warmth from other bodies.
As the puppy grows, its need for shared body warmth diminishes – which means less snuggling time.
Signs Your Puppy Is Uncomfortable Snuggling
Your puppy is likely to put up with your cuddling even when it is uncomfortable with the action.
Indications that your puppy is not a happy cuddler are:
- Flattened ears, white showing in eyes and head turned away – these show your puppy is anxious or afraid.
- Leaning away from your body – your puppy is subconsciously trying to run away.
- Licking your hands while leaning away – this is something puppies do to gently get you to remove your hands from their body.
Why Do You Cuddle Your Puppy?
The popularity of plushies, teddy bears, and stuffed animals with children and adults as sleeping companions and cuddle objects is about the human need for comfort through contact.
Cuddling your puppy gives you feelings of comfort and acceptance – like cuddling a childhood teddy.
Your puppy does not show affection through cuddles.
You can (inadvertently) train your puppy to accept cuddles in the same way you teach your puppy to perform any other action.
Your puppy shows its pleasure in your company through keeping you company, playing, and tail wagging.
Your puppy enjoys some form of touch. The best include scratching under the chin or behind the ear and some forms of grooming.
Your puppy may enjoy sitting on the sofa with its head on your knee or sitting on your lap when it is ready for a nap.
Alternatively, your puppy may prefer to sleep in its safe space – a cushion, bed, or favorite chair and not in contact with you.
Either choice does not reflect on the strength of your bond with the puppy.
Cuddling your puppy is more about making you feel good than filling an emotional need for the puppy.
When you come in from work, you may feel in need of a cuddle, but your puppy prefers to go through the standard doggy rituals of body wriggling and tail wagging, followed by fun playtime.
If your puppy is more accepting of cuddles (breed, temperament, and training), it may take your cuddles because that is what you expect.
You and your puppy may be happier if you come home, hug your family, and then play with the puppy for ten minutes. You get the cuddles you need, and the puppy gets the contact it enjoys.
If you don’t live with other people, learn to recognize that your puppy is genuinely happy to greet you and invest in a snuggly toy of your choice for cuddles.
Can You Encourage Your Puppy to Cuddle?
Some puppies (like people) don’t like a lot of physical contact other than that necessary for play or grooming.
Most puppies are happy to interact with play activities and sleep curled up on or next to you. Some puppies actively prefer to be in contact with you all the time, regardless of convenience.
When you think about encouraging your puppy to cuddle with you, try and imagine if you still want to cuddle with the adult dog.
Puppies are cute, but they grow up into larger dogs.
The toy breeds stay small and puppy-sized, and these are the puppies that sleep on your lap and are happy to be carried in your arms.
You can train your puppy to cuddle with treats and rewards, but it is the same as teaching it to raise a paw or rollover – tricks to amuse the human rather than natural behavior.
Do You Need to Cuddle or Sleep with Your Puppy?
Ultimately, you need to understand why you want the puppy to cuddle with you.
If your well-being needs to have a puppy that snuggles and sleeps with you, choose one of the toy breeds and reward cuddles with treats.
If you are happy to spend fun times with your puppy and don’t need to cuddle, relax and go with how your puppy wants to interact with you.
Interestingly, when you have a bad day, your puppy may choose to snuggle with you to make you feel better.